The Hanging Man

The universe shuffles and without physically picking up a deck, a card is chosen for me to meditate on in this moment in life. This card seems so straight forward but each deck I own presents it in different images that only add confusion and a feeling of "too much information" I could not seem to process. What has continually amazed me with tarot is that it speaks to me in a way I understand and doesn't often present cards to interpret that I cannot grasp. Until such a time as the universe.. shuffles.



As I walk a cobbled path, in my own thoughts of anger and despair of having a life change thrust upon me, I'm angry and for the time, as unhealthy to my spirit as it is, I'm enjoying rolling around in my anger. I must let it go.. but not just yet, just a few more days I tell myself, then I promise to dig deep within my heart and find a way to let it go, leaving the old life and self behind to take this new path and grow into a new self as the world wishes. A figure hanging upside down startles me out my own thoughts and I as I shake my head I can't help but think and judge "What a fool, what the heck is he doing, does he have no pride and concern for what others think of him, hanging around like that...a grown man!?" My angered state pauses from directing inward for long enough to look at him with disdain and judgment. As I give him a wide girth and walk on past he beckons me, "I've been at this a long time, sacrificing my pride and turning my world upside down just to make sense of it all. Now it's your turn."

The hanged man, ironic how he hung just off of my beaten path until I was ready to take a second look. Holding true the unusual concept of this card, others looking at the hanging man awkwardly thinking he's just silly and has no idea while under the surface, and to those willing to stop and chat, he's got a lot to teach us if we just leave preconceptions behind. Keywords being change and sacrifice.

Since unpacking the Animals Divine Tarot I've left it aside for other decks that fit RWS and are less abstract in their images. I haven't warmed up to it as a reading deck but the images and artwork memorize me. Despite leaving it aside I remember first thumbing through this deck and finding myself drawn to the Spider Woman (the artists alteration of the hanged man). This card is an image that has stuck with me since I first gazed upon it and it is the only card in the deck that I can visualize without having to open the box and riffle through the deck to find. Unconventional as the Animals Divine deck is from RWS, the Spider Woman is an image that can create even more confusion, but the intent has a depth that others don't have. The companion book listing the symbols within the card tell it all.

"The web is a matrix of all life. Our actions have a karmic effect and can affect other lives in far-reaching ways. The stars help illuminate our progress as we contribute our own unique threads to the ever-changing design. The spider is the great Mother, our teacher, guide and weaver of destiny. A feather signifies her ability to expose truth despite our possible resistance to acknowledging it. the circular motif reminds us that life is continuous and ever-evolving. changes are inevitable."

Two of my other decks also change the image, no wonder my confusion and inconsistent ingrained recollection of the meaning of this card.

Again the Hanged Man is totally revamped in The MerryDay tarot but strikingly similar to Animals Divine. Looking closely I see the same web reappear in the top left corner and find comfort now that I understand what it symbolizes. While the man is not hanging or looking silly, he is deep within thought. The wheel behind him alludes to changes and traveling a new path. Again feathers re-emerge in this image, as in the Spider Woman! I'm amazed at how different the two cards are while the intent is almost identical. I'm still stumped on the symbolism of his feet being bound by what looks to me like an extension of the water and waves at his feet. The water heals as he exposes his sole (soul) to it's movements.







The Mona Lisa brings back the fun and playful aspect of the Hanging Fae and demonstrates that we are not the ones who pull our strings!





So I drag my heavy feet forward, heavy with anger tied to a past path made of what now feels like concrete and a path I cannot follow. Much like tipping a jar containing fine colored grains of sand, I raise my heavy feet and peer around at a world that seconds ago was so familiar and comfortable, fit like a glove..except for the too tight stitching and the fact that left thumb always felt a little too short...

As the sand transforms, pouring into new shapes as beautiful, unique and special as the last, my old perceptions change slightly, the things I clung to look harmless despite their menacing oppression, some even seem to fit into the "ridiculous" and "of course it was wrong for me". It's all clearer that my negativity of late has stemmed from holding onto to something that's no longer mine. Pining for something that now, cannot happen and is no longer my truth. Everything has changed, I need to sacrifice my old self, accept it and live in the moment I'm living.

With a whoosh I sweep back onto the soles of my feet, feeling the solid ground below me, centering me and bringing me to the exact spot in life I am meant to be in. My step is lighter as I turn to look at the way I came and am able to I look back to the person I was just moments before and know that while she can't come the whole way, she'll always be here.

I curtsey to the Hanged Man, thanking him for his powerful wisdom, apologizing for my haste in my ignorant opinion of him filled with superficial judgment because he's so odd and his background seemingly mundane. Perhaps another day I'll come back and ask him to tell me his story of how he came to hang upside down and how he knew it would help despite the awkward looks and unconventional approach.

Yule blessing

Solstice Blessings to you my friend, the light returns and rejuvenates the spirit within, may you bask in it's powerful embrace and step foot anew and step lighter.

randomness

from pagan musings on FB

DAILY AFFIRMATION: I look beyond appearances to know what is real.

DAILY QUOTE: You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. - Doug Floyd

DAILY AFFIRMATION: I choose beliefs that bring me aliveness and growth.

Asking and Receiving
Asking and Receiving Prayer and Meditation Put very simply, prayer is when we ask the universe for something, and meditation is when we stop and listen...
By: The Pagan Musings

Permission to Forgive Ourselves

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=150146561704130&id=597695994&ref=notif&notif_t=like#!/notes/the-pagan-musings/permission-to-forgive-ourselves/480790484835

Permission to Forgive Ourselves

Releasing Guilt

Guilt is temporary and unproductive, it is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out.

Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding.

When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past.

Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives.

dailyom.com

I just may have to expand on this one day. My family was born and raised on guilt use to manipulate and used under the guise of "love". I was fortunate enough to see through to recognize it was not love and have a concept that this behavior was in fact the true opposite of love. Hate is usually seen as opposite love but I see it as the "absence of".

Charged-Up Housekeeping

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=150146561704130&id=597695994&ref=notif&notif_t=like#!/notes/the-pagan-musings/charged-up-housekeeping/480788284835

Devote the day to cleansing and clearing your home. This should work on both an energetic and physical level, and should be performed in the daytime (when the Sun is shining at its brightest). Start by getting some paper towels and a cup of lemon juice and vinegar—an all-natural, nonchemical cleaning solution. Cup your hands over the mixture and visualize cleansing, radiant yellow energy surrounding the bowl or bucket. Say something like:

By the power of the sun, I do charge and enchant this cleansing mixture. As the mixture touches stagnant energy, it sends the vibrations into oblivion. By the power of water and fire, this mixture is enchanted. So mote it be.

Walk all around the house, moving widdershins (counterclockwise) in each room. Wipe down all the counters, the tops of doors, cabinets, and shelves, visualizing all the stagnant energy (lying dormant in the dust and grime) being exorcised by the cleansing solution—only to be gathered in the paper towels and thrown in the trash. When finished, sprinkle a handful of salt in the trash. This will help ground the energy and successfully banish stagnation. Smudge the house when finished.

I like this concept, definitely something to build upon with a tweak to the wording. For some reason mixing the words "stagnant" and "energy" doesn't ring true with me, stagnant is lack of energy to me.

Better than New Year's Resolutions–A Ritual that Really Works

(The originator) calls it the Burning Bowl Ritual, and it’s perfect for Winter Solstice, New Year’s Eve, or even special occasions throughout the year. I’ve designed a ritual around it, one that can be adapted to almost any occasion or spiritual gathering.


I handed out sheets of paper to each guest and asked them to draw a big T on the paper. This was their personal list to take home, so they can put away their list and review it later in the year. On the left column, they were to write down the things they want to honor and bid farewell to in the coming year. Saying goodbye to these things will make room for better things to come. I gave examples from my own list for the year:

Fretting over the lack of ——– in my life

Any insecurity or jealousy over ——–

Worry about ——-

Most of my dinner guests chose things like bad health habits, obsessions over certain people, money worries, unfulfilling jobs, and long-carried emotional pain.

Once they were done with the things they wanted to say goodbye to, I had them turn their attention to the right column and write down things that they welcomed in for the next year. Not things they resolved to do. Not things they “invited” in, but may not come. Rather, things they “welcomed” in because that implies that these things are definitely coming to them and they’ll be happy to have these things in their lives. In my experience, the majority of things in this list arrive effortlessly throughout the course of the coming year. I gave a few examples from my own very long list for 2009, beginning on Winter Solstice 2008:

Continue and expand my social circle and spiritual circle of friends and students, with wonderful lessons coming to me and from me

More loving relationships with family, friends, and daughters

An amazing, fun, intimate, creative, and intense sex life –and for my partner to be able to keep up with me

Learning new things and meeting new people, including things like knife-throwing, archery, and motorcycles

Business opportunities that bring me many different streams of abundantly flowing income and allow me to be mobile in my workspace and hours

A deepening of my romantic love relationship with ————, to include much happiness, serenity, and a ————

My dinner guests welcomed in a huge variety of things that were very personal to each. I thought that was funny that we tended to want to get rid of the same things that weighed us down but what we wish to come into our lives was quite diverse. I loved some of the younger guests’ desires for good mentors, career guidance, confidence, and many of the things that my older guests didn’t consider until they heard these later. I was amazed at the maturity of some of the youngest guests when it came to participating in this exercise.

When everyone finally had their list completed, I asked them to consider a verb for the next year and a simple phrase or mantra. These are, in effect, my themes for the next year, and usually go hand in hand. I have to pick the exact words, and that sometimes means digging out the thesaurus to make sure each word has exactly the connotation I’m looking for. My themes for the past few years and for the coming year?

2006: Manifest and Risk Everything

2007: Enjoy and Allow Miracles

2008: Thrive and Celebrate Everything

2009: Enchant and Be Delighted

My guests began to think of their themes for the next year, some brainstorming with others to come up with the perfect word. Once they had their themes, they committed them to memory for later in the evening. They chose words like Relax, Recalibrate, Have Fun, Be Adventurous, Succeed, Liberate Myself, Accept, Live Life to the Fullest.

For the next part of the evening, I brought out wine glass goblets that I’d bought for 50 cents each from a local pottery store. I could have gone with plastic champagne glasses but I wanted something that my guests could take away with them. I’d also tried to find those little rings–wine glass jewelry–that dangle from the stem, but couldn’t find them anywhere.... I happened on an earring display and found not what I was looking for but something better. I picked out about 10 pairs of deeply discounted gemstone and shell hoop earrings that closed the hoop with a clasp. Each fit perfectly around the stem of a wine glass and made a nice souvenir to be imbued with the energies of the evening and taken away as a souvenir, to be worn later, attached to a car mirror or lamp pull, etc.

Next, I handed out little inventory tags to my guests. These were purchased at the local Office Max in the section where they sell tags and stickers for garage sales. Each tag was about 2 inches long, with a string attached. My guests wrote a symbol, picture, or word on the tags to represent what they wanted to say goodbye to and placed the tags in the goblet’s bowl. These were placed inside the glass because their cups are already full of these things.

My guests then wrote symbols, pictures, and words on the tags to represent things they wanted to welcome for the coming year. They tied these tags to the stem of the glass and let them dangle.

For the actual ritual, I’d hoped to gather in my backyard, but the below-freezing weather made it impractical, so we moved my grandmother’s aged cauldron into my open garage and started a very small fire in the cauldron, which served as our burning bowl instead of the usual barbecue fire pit in the backyard.

We formed a circle around the burning bowl, each of us holding a candle. I lit mine and then then person’s next to me, she lit her neighbor’s on the left, and so forth until the circle was complete. Because our guests were of varying spiritual backgrounds, we asked the Archangels–something common to most belief systems present–to witness our intentions.

After some brief explanations about the symbolism of the ritual, each guest tossed tags from inside their glasses into the fire, saying goodbye to the things that no longer serve them and that they wish to get rid of in the coming year. Some called out these things proudly. Most performed this part of the ritual silently, as was their perogative.

Then, one by one, and in no particular order, the guests allowed me to cut the tags from the stems, leaving evidence of their desires in place around the stem, and offered the tags representing things to be welcomed in into the fire, with our intentions carried away by the smoke to come to fruition over the next year. Some of the guests were exhuberant at this point and it was so much fun to see them enjoying this and feeling so much lighter and more hopeful.

When all the tags were gone, I then offered each guest a choice of grape juice or champagne and filled their glasses. We each called out our themes for the new year and toasted to them, clinking our glasses. Then we closed our evening with thanks to the Archangels for bearing witness.

The biggest difference, I think, in this Burning Bowl ritual filled with intentions toward what we welcome in and the usual resolving to do a host of things that will get rid of bad habits to that so many of our intentions are not things we actually have to go do (and fail at) ourselves. These are more like a wish list to God, the Universe, Goddess, or whatever belief system you follow so that we allow Deity to bring these to us and we simply welcome them when they get here. Since I’ve been doing these Burning Bowl rituals, about 90% of my desires are fulfilled within the first 8 months of the year–and some are ones I just never thought would have happened, and certainly not on my own.

Yule 2010

I was looking online for short easy ideas, partly because of time constraints and constant demands from Alexiss, the other is to hopefully start new traditions that are short to hold her attention span as a young child. These two following rites trigger taking a moment to reflect on the change of the solstice and balance day/night with dark/light. I really love how they work together so amazingly well. It also is family friendly for my house because it honors the Solstice without Gods/Goddesses so my Christian mate could also participate and not feel uncomfortable. This was snarfed from another site:

"Winter day of longest night, Step aside now for the light. Thank you for the things you've brought. That only darkness could have wrought."

Then name all the gifts of darkness that you can think of - regeneration, peace, dreams, organization, quietude, and so on - before drinking the juice.

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At night I had intended to simply this rite and not include a feast as suggested on the original site.

1. Cover your table or altar with candles. Use as many as you like; they don't have to match. In the center, place a sun candle** on a riser, so it's above the rest. Don't light any of the candles just yet.

2. Turn off all the other lights, and face your altar.

   Face the candles, and say:

   The wheel of the year has turned once more,
   and the nights have grown longer and colder.
   Tonight, the darkness begins to retreat,
   and light begins its return once again.
   As the wheel continues to spin,
   the sun returns to us once more.
   
   

3. Light the sun candle, and say:

   Even in the darkest hours,
   even in the longest nights,
   the spark of life lingered on.
   Laying dormant, waiting, ready to return
   when the time was right.
   The darkness will leave us now,
   as the sun begins its journey home.
   
   

4. Beginning with the candles closest to the sun candle, and working your way outward, light each of the other candles. As you light each one, say:

   As the wheel turns, light returns.

   Repeat this until all the candles are lit and burning. Then say:

   The light of the sun has returned to us,
   bringing life and warmth with it.
   The shadows will vanish, and life will continue.
   We are blessed by the light of the sun.

5. Take a moment to think about what the return of the sun means to you. The return of the light meant many things to different cultures. How does it affect you, and your loved ones?
   

   When you're done, extinguish the candles from the outside of the altar working towards the center, leaving the sun candle for last.

Tips:

1. ** A sun candle is simply a candle you've designated to represent the sun in ritual. It can be in a sunny color -- gold or yellow -- and if you like, you can inscribe it with solar siguils.

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I'm including this to record it should it ever come to be that we have a real tree, but we don't due to a kitty. And we can't put anything like this on the floor because of the same kitty, but I like this little prayer when cutting a yule tree..

Evergreen, evergreen, big fat tree!
I ask you now please to come home with me!
We'll cover you with ornaments and lots of pretty lights,
and let you shine about our house at Yule, the longest night!
Thank you, tree, thank you tree, for the gift you give today,
we'll plant another in your name, when spring comes our way!

___________________________________________________

Writing to come

These are just quick things I'm jotting down to possibly write about... sometime. :D

Faith, freewill and taking action
Tolerance of other paths
The magic within
Truth and perception - we all have our own truths
Light vs dark (pull in from previous writing)
The root of it (tarot spread)
Spirituality and Science do work together
Permission to Forgive Ourselves (living regret free) - My family was born and raised on guilt use to manipulate and used under the guise of "love". I was fortunate enough to see through to recognize it was not love and have a concept that this behavior was in fact the true opposite of love. Hate is usually seen as opposite love but I see it as the "absence of".
Outward look on life - is it something to get through or something to experience? Get that chip of your shoulder and use bad for good. We have choices and control in life, that is our outlook not the events and not other people and their outlook/actions.

Have faith

Following are random thoughts, someday perhaps I can return to this long rambling thought and refine, clarify and update grammar. For this moment I am meant to spew it all out as it flows and get back to tending and enjoying my daughter. I do not see this as addressing or segregating one religion or group.

My perception of faith is taking comfort through hardship in knowing we are exactly where we are supposed to be in this exact moment. It means we acknowledge we are on a journey, it means accepting our past, it results in a state of fulfillment, acceptance and happiness. I use the word happiness loosely to represent positive self worth and absence of sadness misery or feelings of lose. I speak of faith more through hardship, because faith during good times is less of a personal struggle. To take this further I hazard to postulate there is no happiness or sadness within our spirit, only a state of being, a willingness and an existence to live and learn, to travel a journey or path so that we may increase our awareness of self and spirit. To complete the void of our divine within...

Over the years I've had many friends who nod when I talk of having faith in their life. They agree, but yet, go back to questioning, resenting and letting unhappiness settle back into their daily lives. It became aware to me that keeping faith was easy to say and difficult to do. I even find it difficult some days and have to stop and take a minute to remind myself everything I preach.

It tests us in many ways..from being judged to judging others, in my books the exact opposite of looking within and allowing others to do the same. Instead we try to peer within the surface. An impossible task when judging others, as they cannot tell their story in it`s entirety, shaped with feelings and all their past experiences that brought them to today. In this vein, it becomes impossible to know what is best for them, the surest way to give help that does not have the possibility to be off, is to help the person look within to find their true answer.

So, you've looked within, you think you are being honest with yourself and not letting biased or ego rule the answer, but are still unsure and want to know how you'd know. Play the scenario, feel your energy as your body responds to your thoughts. Pure thoughts and intentions may work as a conductor or transformer (energy is electricity) rather than a resistor. If you feel in the slightest that the way you are considering paving ruffles your scales/fir/skin go back a few steps and ask what part of your heart are you ignoring or is not completely true. There may be one thing you've let distort, fear if being different than society/friends/family, fear of being judged, not wanting to face something, wanting to portray ourselves as something we are not.. etc

So the question is, how to carry faith with us enough to live in the moment and enjoy that moment instead of letting it breed negativity. It seems counter productive to bring the past into the present, but it is after all the sum of who we are at this moment. This can be as deep or shallow as you and time permit. I think back to my father passing when I was young, a majorly molding experience that used to take energy and tears to remember. I`ve learned to respect that event and can now visualize all the ripples this event had on who I am today. Now I look at it with respect and no resentment or tears. Add to this faith in an afterlife and it transforms into a comforting experience rather than something to use to put a chip on my shoulder.

We do make it through difficulties, we do change because of them and like a butterfly transform into something beautiful.. ourselves as we are meant to be in this moment in time.

Others need not go this deep if they are not ready and willing, you can use something as simple as an inner struggle, car trouble.. etc. I can guarantee if you listen to your heart.... something good came of it that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Struggles are to be respected, for they teach us. We do not learn or turn inward when we are happy. We smile, laugh and revel in letting it shine. Typically when we are in dark moods we cannot express it and turn inward to make sense of it, some never dig deep enough to get to the root and instead live on the surface of what their heart and spirit know. Perhaps their struggle in life is simply to learn how to listen to their heart, it`s a hard skill to hone, to truly have faith.