As I walk a cobbled path, in my own thoughts of anger and despair of having a life change thrust upon me, I'm angry and for the time, as unhealthy to my spirit as it is, I'm enjoying rolling around in my anger. I must let it go.. but not just yet, just a few more days I tell myself, then I promise to dig deep within my heart and find a way to let it go, leaving the old life and self behind to take this new path and grow into a new self as the world wishes. A figure hanging upside down startles me out my own thoughts and I as I shake my head I can't help but think and judge "What a fool, what the heck is he doing, does he have no pride and concern for what others think of him, hanging around like that...a grown man!?" My angered state pauses from directing inward for long enough to look at him with disdain and judgment. As I give him a wide girth and walk on past he beckons me, "I've been at this a long time, sacrificing my pride and turning my world upside down just to make sense of it all. Now it's your turn."
The hanged man, ironic how he hung just off of my beaten path until I was ready to take a second look. Holding true the unusual concept of this card, others looking at the hanging man awkwardly thinking he's just silly and has no idea while under the surface, and to those willing to stop and chat, he's got a lot to teach us if we just leave preconceptions behind. Keywords being change and sacrifice.
Since unpacking the Animals Divine Tarot I've left it aside for other decks that fit RWS and are less abstract in their images. I haven't warmed up to it as a reading deck but the images and artwork memorize me. Despite leaving it aside I remember first thumbing through this deck and finding myself drawn to the Spider Woman (the artists alteration of the hanged man). This card is an image that has stuck with me since I first gazed upon it and it is the only card in the deck that I can visualize without having to open the box and riffle through the deck to find. Unconventional as the Animals Divine deck is from RWS, the Spider Woman is an image that can create even more confusion, but the intent has a depth that others don't have. The companion book listing the symbols within the card tell it all."The web is a matrix of all life. Our actions have a karmic effect and can affect other lives in far-reaching ways. The stars help illuminate our progress as we contribute our own unique threads to the ever-changing design. The spider is the great Mother, our teacher, guide and weaver of destiny. A feather signifies her ability to expose truth despite our possible resistance to acknowledging it. the circular motif reminds us that life is continuous and ever-evolving. changes are inevitable."
Two of my other decks also change the image, no wonder my confusion and inconsistent ingrained recollection of the meaning of this card.
Again the Hanged Man is totally revamped in The MerryDay tarot but strikingly similar to Animals Divine. Looking closely I see the same web reappear in the top left corner and find comfort now that I understand what it symbolizes. While the man is not hanging or looking silly, he is deep within thought. The wheel behind him alludes to changes and traveling a new path. Again feathers re-emerge in this image, as in the Spider Woman! I'm amazed at how different the two cards are while the intent is almost identical. I'm still stumped on the symbolism of his feet being bound by what looks to me like an extension of the water and waves at his feet. The water heals as he exposes his sole (soul) to it's movements.
The Mona Lisa brings back the fun and playful aspect of the Hanging Fae and demonstrates that we are not the ones who pull our strings!
So I drag my heavy feet forward, heavy with anger tied to a past path made of what now feels like concrete and a path I cannot follow. Much like tipping a jar containing fine colored grains of sand, I raise my heavy feet and peer around at a world that seconds ago was so familiar and comfortable, fit like a glove..except for the too tight stitching and the fact that left thumb always felt a little too short...
As the sand transforms, pouring into new shapes as beautiful, unique and special as the last, my old perceptions change slightly, the things I clung to look harmless despite their menacing oppression, some even seem to fit into the "ridiculous" and "of course it was wrong for me". It's all clearer that my negativity of late has stemmed from holding onto to something that's no longer mine. Pining for something that now, cannot happen and is no longer my truth. Everything has changed, I need to sacrifice my old self, accept it and live in the moment I'm living.
With a whoosh I sweep back onto the soles of my feet, feeling the solid ground below me, centering me and bringing me to the exact spot in life I am meant to be in. My step is lighter as I turn to look at the way I came and am able to I look back to the person I was just moments before and know that while she can't come the whole way, she'll always be here.
I curtsey to the Hanged Man, thanking him for his powerful wisdom, apologizing for my haste in my ignorant opinion of him filled with superficial judgment because he's so odd and his background seemingly mundane. Perhaps another day I'll come back and ask him to tell me his story of how he came to hang upside down and how he knew it would help despite the awkward looks and unconventional approach.
