The Hanging Man

The universe shuffles and without physically picking up a deck, a card is chosen for me to meditate on in this moment in life. This card seems so straight forward but each deck I own presents it in different images that only add confusion and a feeling of "too much information" I could not seem to process. What has continually amazed me with tarot is that it speaks to me in a way I understand and doesn't often present cards to interpret that I cannot grasp. Until such a time as the universe.. shuffles.



As I walk a cobbled path, in my own thoughts of anger and despair of having a life change thrust upon me, I'm angry and for the time, as unhealthy to my spirit as it is, I'm enjoying rolling around in my anger. I must let it go.. but not just yet, just a few more days I tell myself, then I promise to dig deep within my heart and find a way to let it go, leaving the old life and self behind to take this new path and grow into a new self as the world wishes. A figure hanging upside down startles me out my own thoughts and I as I shake my head I can't help but think and judge "What a fool, what the heck is he doing, does he have no pride and concern for what others think of him, hanging around like that...a grown man!?" My angered state pauses from directing inward for long enough to look at him with disdain and judgment. As I give him a wide girth and walk on past he beckons me, "I've been at this a long time, sacrificing my pride and turning my world upside down just to make sense of it all. Now it's your turn."

The hanged man, ironic how he hung just off of my beaten path until I was ready to take a second look. Holding true the unusual concept of this card, others looking at the hanging man awkwardly thinking he's just silly and has no idea while under the surface, and to those willing to stop and chat, he's got a lot to teach us if we just leave preconceptions behind. Keywords being change and sacrifice.

Since unpacking the Animals Divine Tarot I've left it aside for other decks that fit RWS and are less abstract in their images. I haven't warmed up to it as a reading deck but the images and artwork memorize me. Despite leaving it aside I remember first thumbing through this deck and finding myself drawn to the Spider Woman (the artists alteration of the hanged man). This card is an image that has stuck with me since I first gazed upon it and it is the only card in the deck that I can visualize without having to open the box and riffle through the deck to find. Unconventional as the Animals Divine deck is from RWS, the Spider Woman is an image that can create even more confusion, but the intent has a depth that others don't have. The companion book listing the symbols within the card tell it all.

"The web is a matrix of all life. Our actions have a karmic effect and can affect other lives in far-reaching ways. The stars help illuminate our progress as we contribute our own unique threads to the ever-changing design. The spider is the great Mother, our teacher, guide and weaver of destiny. A feather signifies her ability to expose truth despite our possible resistance to acknowledging it. the circular motif reminds us that life is continuous and ever-evolving. changes are inevitable."

Two of my other decks also change the image, no wonder my confusion and inconsistent ingrained recollection of the meaning of this card.

Again the Hanged Man is totally revamped in The MerryDay tarot but strikingly similar to Animals Divine. Looking closely I see the same web reappear in the top left corner and find comfort now that I understand what it symbolizes. While the man is not hanging or looking silly, he is deep within thought. The wheel behind him alludes to changes and traveling a new path. Again feathers re-emerge in this image, as in the Spider Woman! I'm amazed at how different the two cards are while the intent is almost identical. I'm still stumped on the symbolism of his feet being bound by what looks to me like an extension of the water and waves at his feet. The water heals as he exposes his sole (soul) to it's movements.







The Mona Lisa brings back the fun and playful aspect of the Hanging Fae and demonstrates that we are not the ones who pull our strings!





So I drag my heavy feet forward, heavy with anger tied to a past path made of what now feels like concrete and a path I cannot follow. Much like tipping a jar containing fine colored grains of sand, I raise my heavy feet and peer around at a world that seconds ago was so familiar and comfortable, fit like a glove..except for the too tight stitching and the fact that left thumb always felt a little too short...

As the sand transforms, pouring into new shapes as beautiful, unique and special as the last, my old perceptions change slightly, the things I clung to look harmless despite their menacing oppression, some even seem to fit into the "ridiculous" and "of course it was wrong for me". It's all clearer that my negativity of late has stemmed from holding onto to something that's no longer mine. Pining for something that now, cannot happen and is no longer my truth. Everything has changed, I need to sacrifice my old self, accept it and live in the moment I'm living.

With a whoosh I sweep back onto the soles of my feet, feeling the solid ground below me, centering me and bringing me to the exact spot in life I am meant to be in. My step is lighter as I turn to look at the way I came and am able to I look back to the person I was just moments before and know that while she can't come the whole way, she'll always be here.

I curtsey to the Hanged Man, thanking him for his powerful wisdom, apologizing for my haste in my ignorant opinion of him filled with superficial judgment because he's so odd and his background seemingly mundane. Perhaps another day I'll come back and ask him to tell me his story of how he came to hang upside down and how he knew it would help despite the awkward looks and unconventional approach.

Yule blessing

Solstice Blessings to you my friend, the light returns and rejuvenates the spirit within, may you bask in it's powerful embrace and step foot anew and step lighter.

randomness

from pagan musings on FB

DAILY AFFIRMATION: I look beyond appearances to know what is real.

DAILY QUOTE: You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. - Doug Floyd

DAILY AFFIRMATION: I choose beliefs that bring me aliveness and growth.

Asking and Receiving
Asking and Receiving Prayer and Meditation Put very simply, prayer is when we ask the universe for something, and meditation is when we stop and listen...
By: The Pagan Musings

Permission to Forgive Ourselves

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=150146561704130&id=597695994&ref=notif&notif_t=like#!/notes/the-pagan-musings/permission-to-forgive-ourselves/480790484835

Permission to Forgive Ourselves

Releasing Guilt

Guilt is temporary and unproductive, it is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out.

Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding.

When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past.

Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives.

dailyom.com

I just may have to expand on this one day. My family was born and raised on guilt use to manipulate and used under the guise of "love". I was fortunate enough to see through to recognize it was not love and have a concept that this behavior was in fact the true opposite of love. Hate is usually seen as opposite love but I see it as the "absence of".

Charged-Up Housekeeping

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=150146561704130&id=597695994&ref=notif&notif_t=like#!/notes/the-pagan-musings/charged-up-housekeeping/480788284835

Devote the day to cleansing and clearing your home. This should work on both an energetic and physical level, and should be performed in the daytime (when the Sun is shining at its brightest). Start by getting some paper towels and a cup of lemon juice and vinegar—an all-natural, nonchemical cleaning solution. Cup your hands over the mixture and visualize cleansing, radiant yellow energy surrounding the bowl or bucket. Say something like:

By the power of the sun, I do charge and enchant this cleansing mixture. As the mixture touches stagnant energy, it sends the vibrations into oblivion. By the power of water and fire, this mixture is enchanted. So mote it be.

Walk all around the house, moving widdershins (counterclockwise) in each room. Wipe down all the counters, the tops of doors, cabinets, and shelves, visualizing all the stagnant energy (lying dormant in the dust and grime) being exorcised by the cleansing solution—only to be gathered in the paper towels and thrown in the trash. When finished, sprinkle a handful of salt in the trash. This will help ground the energy and successfully banish stagnation. Smudge the house when finished.

I like this concept, definitely something to build upon with a tweak to the wording. For some reason mixing the words "stagnant" and "energy" doesn't ring true with me, stagnant is lack of energy to me.

Better than New Year's Resolutions–A Ritual that Really Works

(The originator) calls it the Burning Bowl Ritual, and it’s perfect for Winter Solstice, New Year’s Eve, or even special occasions throughout the year. I’ve designed a ritual around it, one that can be adapted to almost any occasion or spiritual gathering.


I handed out sheets of paper to each guest and asked them to draw a big T on the paper. This was their personal list to take home, so they can put away their list and review it later in the year. On the left column, they were to write down the things they want to honor and bid farewell to in the coming year. Saying goodbye to these things will make room for better things to come. I gave examples from my own list for the year:

Fretting over the lack of ——– in my life

Any insecurity or jealousy over ——–

Worry about ——-

Most of my dinner guests chose things like bad health habits, obsessions over certain people, money worries, unfulfilling jobs, and long-carried emotional pain.

Once they were done with the things they wanted to say goodbye to, I had them turn their attention to the right column and write down things that they welcomed in for the next year. Not things they resolved to do. Not things they “invited” in, but may not come. Rather, things they “welcomed” in because that implies that these things are definitely coming to them and they’ll be happy to have these things in their lives. In my experience, the majority of things in this list arrive effortlessly throughout the course of the coming year. I gave a few examples from my own very long list for 2009, beginning on Winter Solstice 2008:

Continue and expand my social circle and spiritual circle of friends and students, with wonderful lessons coming to me and from me

More loving relationships with family, friends, and daughters

An amazing, fun, intimate, creative, and intense sex life –and for my partner to be able to keep up with me

Learning new things and meeting new people, including things like knife-throwing, archery, and motorcycles

Business opportunities that bring me many different streams of abundantly flowing income and allow me to be mobile in my workspace and hours

A deepening of my romantic love relationship with ————, to include much happiness, serenity, and a ————

My dinner guests welcomed in a huge variety of things that were very personal to each. I thought that was funny that we tended to want to get rid of the same things that weighed us down but what we wish to come into our lives was quite diverse. I loved some of the younger guests’ desires for good mentors, career guidance, confidence, and many of the things that my older guests didn’t consider until they heard these later. I was amazed at the maturity of some of the youngest guests when it came to participating in this exercise.

When everyone finally had their list completed, I asked them to consider a verb for the next year and a simple phrase or mantra. These are, in effect, my themes for the next year, and usually go hand in hand. I have to pick the exact words, and that sometimes means digging out the thesaurus to make sure each word has exactly the connotation I’m looking for. My themes for the past few years and for the coming year?

2006: Manifest and Risk Everything

2007: Enjoy and Allow Miracles

2008: Thrive and Celebrate Everything

2009: Enchant and Be Delighted

My guests began to think of their themes for the next year, some brainstorming with others to come up with the perfect word. Once they had their themes, they committed them to memory for later in the evening. They chose words like Relax, Recalibrate, Have Fun, Be Adventurous, Succeed, Liberate Myself, Accept, Live Life to the Fullest.

For the next part of the evening, I brought out wine glass goblets that I’d bought for 50 cents each from a local pottery store. I could have gone with plastic champagne glasses but I wanted something that my guests could take away with them. I’d also tried to find those little rings–wine glass jewelry–that dangle from the stem, but couldn’t find them anywhere.... I happened on an earring display and found not what I was looking for but something better. I picked out about 10 pairs of deeply discounted gemstone and shell hoop earrings that closed the hoop with a clasp. Each fit perfectly around the stem of a wine glass and made a nice souvenir to be imbued with the energies of the evening and taken away as a souvenir, to be worn later, attached to a car mirror or lamp pull, etc.

Next, I handed out little inventory tags to my guests. These were purchased at the local Office Max in the section where they sell tags and stickers for garage sales. Each tag was about 2 inches long, with a string attached. My guests wrote a symbol, picture, or word on the tags to represent what they wanted to say goodbye to and placed the tags in the goblet’s bowl. These were placed inside the glass because their cups are already full of these things.

My guests then wrote symbols, pictures, and words on the tags to represent things they wanted to welcome for the coming year. They tied these tags to the stem of the glass and let them dangle.

For the actual ritual, I’d hoped to gather in my backyard, but the below-freezing weather made it impractical, so we moved my grandmother’s aged cauldron into my open garage and started a very small fire in the cauldron, which served as our burning bowl instead of the usual barbecue fire pit in the backyard.

We formed a circle around the burning bowl, each of us holding a candle. I lit mine and then then person’s next to me, she lit her neighbor’s on the left, and so forth until the circle was complete. Because our guests were of varying spiritual backgrounds, we asked the Archangels–something common to most belief systems present–to witness our intentions.

After some brief explanations about the symbolism of the ritual, each guest tossed tags from inside their glasses into the fire, saying goodbye to the things that no longer serve them and that they wish to get rid of in the coming year. Some called out these things proudly. Most performed this part of the ritual silently, as was their perogative.

Then, one by one, and in no particular order, the guests allowed me to cut the tags from the stems, leaving evidence of their desires in place around the stem, and offered the tags representing things to be welcomed in into the fire, with our intentions carried away by the smoke to come to fruition over the next year. Some of the guests were exhuberant at this point and it was so much fun to see them enjoying this and feeling so much lighter and more hopeful.

When all the tags were gone, I then offered each guest a choice of grape juice or champagne and filled their glasses. We each called out our themes for the new year and toasted to them, clinking our glasses. Then we closed our evening with thanks to the Archangels for bearing witness.

The biggest difference, I think, in this Burning Bowl ritual filled with intentions toward what we welcome in and the usual resolving to do a host of things that will get rid of bad habits to that so many of our intentions are not things we actually have to go do (and fail at) ourselves. These are more like a wish list to God, the Universe, Goddess, or whatever belief system you follow so that we allow Deity to bring these to us and we simply welcome them when they get here. Since I’ve been doing these Burning Bowl rituals, about 90% of my desires are fulfilled within the first 8 months of the year–and some are ones I just never thought would have happened, and certainly not on my own.

Yule 2010

I was looking online for short easy ideas, partly because of time constraints and constant demands from Alexiss, the other is to hopefully start new traditions that are short to hold her attention span as a young child. These two following rites trigger taking a moment to reflect on the change of the solstice and balance day/night with dark/light. I really love how they work together so amazingly well. It also is family friendly for my house because it honors the Solstice without Gods/Goddesses so my Christian mate could also participate and not feel uncomfortable. This was snarfed from another site:

"Winter day of longest night, Step aside now for the light. Thank you for the things you've brought. That only darkness could have wrought."

Then name all the gifts of darkness that you can think of - regeneration, peace, dreams, organization, quietude, and so on - before drinking the juice.

_____________________________________________________

At night I had intended to simply this rite and not include a feast as suggested on the original site.

1. Cover your table or altar with candles. Use as many as you like; they don't have to match. In the center, place a sun candle** on a riser, so it's above the rest. Don't light any of the candles just yet.

2. Turn off all the other lights, and face your altar.

   Face the candles, and say:

   The wheel of the year has turned once more,
   and the nights have grown longer and colder.
   Tonight, the darkness begins to retreat,
   and light begins its return once again.
   As the wheel continues to spin,
   the sun returns to us once more.
   
   

3. Light the sun candle, and say:

   Even in the darkest hours,
   even in the longest nights,
   the spark of life lingered on.
   Laying dormant, waiting, ready to return
   when the time was right.
   The darkness will leave us now,
   as the sun begins its journey home.
   
   

4. Beginning with the candles closest to the sun candle, and working your way outward, light each of the other candles. As you light each one, say:

   As the wheel turns, light returns.

   Repeat this until all the candles are lit and burning. Then say:

   The light of the sun has returned to us,
   bringing life and warmth with it.
   The shadows will vanish, and life will continue.
   We are blessed by the light of the sun.

5. Take a moment to think about what the return of the sun means to you. The return of the light meant many things to different cultures. How does it affect you, and your loved ones?
   

   When you're done, extinguish the candles from the outside of the altar working towards the center, leaving the sun candle for last.

Tips:

1. ** A sun candle is simply a candle you've designated to represent the sun in ritual. It can be in a sunny color -- gold or yellow -- and if you like, you can inscribe it with solar siguils.

___________________________________________________________

I'm including this to record it should it ever come to be that we have a real tree, but we don't due to a kitty. And we can't put anything like this on the floor because of the same kitty, but I like this little prayer when cutting a yule tree..

Evergreen, evergreen, big fat tree!
I ask you now please to come home with me!
We'll cover you with ornaments and lots of pretty lights,
and let you shine about our house at Yule, the longest night!
Thank you, tree, thank you tree, for the gift you give today,
we'll plant another in your name, when spring comes our way!

___________________________________________________

Writing to come

These are just quick things I'm jotting down to possibly write about... sometime. :D

Faith, freewill and taking action
Tolerance of other paths
The magic within
Truth and perception - we all have our own truths
Light vs dark (pull in from previous writing)
The root of it (tarot spread)
Spirituality and Science do work together
Permission to Forgive Ourselves (living regret free) - My family was born and raised on guilt use to manipulate and used under the guise of "love". I was fortunate enough to see through to recognize it was not love and have a concept that this behavior was in fact the true opposite of love. Hate is usually seen as opposite love but I see it as the "absence of".
Outward look on life - is it something to get through or something to experience? Get that chip of your shoulder and use bad for good. We have choices and control in life, that is our outlook not the events and not other people and their outlook/actions.

Have faith

Following are random thoughts, someday perhaps I can return to this long rambling thought and refine, clarify and update grammar. For this moment I am meant to spew it all out as it flows and get back to tending and enjoying my daughter. I do not see this as addressing or segregating one religion or group.

My perception of faith is taking comfort through hardship in knowing we are exactly where we are supposed to be in this exact moment. It means we acknowledge we are on a journey, it means accepting our past, it results in a state of fulfillment, acceptance and happiness. I use the word happiness loosely to represent positive self worth and absence of sadness misery or feelings of lose. I speak of faith more through hardship, because faith during good times is less of a personal struggle. To take this further I hazard to postulate there is no happiness or sadness within our spirit, only a state of being, a willingness and an existence to live and learn, to travel a journey or path so that we may increase our awareness of self and spirit. To complete the void of our divine within...

Over the years I've had many friends who nod when I talk of having faith in their life. They agree, but yet, go back to questioning, resenting and letting unhappiness settle back into their daily lives. It became aware to me that keeping faith was easy to say and difficult to do. I even find it difficult some days and have to stop and take a minute to remind myself everything I preach.

It tests us in many ways..from being judged to judging others, in my books the exact opposite of looking within and allowing others to do the same. Instead we try to peer within the surface. An impossible task when judging others, as they cannot tell their story in it`s entirety, shaped with feelings and all their past experiences that brought them to today. In this vein, it becomes impossible to know what is best for them, the surest way to give help that does not have the possibility to be off, is to help the person look within to find their true answer.

So, you've looked within, you think you are being honest with yourself and not letting biased or ego rule the answer, but are still unsure and want to know how you'd know. Play the scenario, feel your energy as your body responds to your thoughts. Pure thoughts and intentions may work as a conductor or transformer (energy is electricity) rather than a resistor. If you feel in the slightest that the way you are considering paving ruffles your scales/fir/skin go back a few steps and ask what part of your heart are you ignoring or is not completely true. There may be one thing you've let distort, fear if being different than society/friends/family, fear of being judged, not wanting to face something, wanting to portray ourselves as something we are not.. etc

So the question is, how to carry faith with us enough to live in the moment and enjoy that moment instead of letting it breed negativity. It seems counter productive to bring the past into the present, but it is after all the sum of who we are at this moment. This can be as deep or shallow as you and time permit. I think back to my father passing when I was young, a majorly molding experience that used to take energy and tears to remember. I`ve learned to respect that event and can now visualize all the ripples this event had on who I am today. Now I look at it with respect and no resentment or tears. Add to this faith in an afterlife and it transforms into a comforting experience rather than something to use to put a chip on my shoulder.

We do make it through difficulties, we do change because of them and like a butterfly transform into something beautiful.. ourselves as we are meant to be in this moment in time.

Others need not go this deep if they are not ready and willing, you can use something as simple as an inner struggle, car trouble.. etc. I can guarantee if you listen to your heart.... something good came of it that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Struggles are to be respected, for they teach us. We do not learn or turn inward when we are happy. We smile, laugh and revel in letting it shine. Typically when we are in dark moods we cannot express it and turn inward to make sense of it, some never dig deep enough to get to the root and instead live on the surface of what their heart and spirit know. Perhaps their struggle in life is simply to learn how to listen to their heart, it`s a hard skill to hone, to truly have faith.

Tarot throughout my life

I don't know why I haven't shared this in the past. I suppose it's because this blog was started mostly for my own personal use and I know the story well. But time has a way of fading and softening memories. I don't want to forget or loose sight of how strong of a spiritual tool the tarot has become to me. So herein follows the story of my involvement owning and using tarot decks

I bought a deck at Chapters in my teens and was amazed. At the time I admit to testing the cards by doing readings for friends without their consent. I was never into using them to forecast love interests, but used them more to understand and support friends to cope with life struggles. I didn't know at the time that it was considered in poorer taste and equivalent to eavesdropping. I did always tell them the outcomes and they were kind enough not to take offense.

My mom was a little uncomfortable so I wasn't very open or free to pull the cards out when the mood suited. Then I moved in with my SO and they made him more uncomfortable. At the time they didn't seem as powerful a tool or as strong of a spiritual outlet as they do to me now, so I left them in a box at my mom's and didn't pine for them.

Two or three years ago, a kind open minded fellow fae lover and friend was moved to buy me the Mystic Faerie deck. She reads and has a large collection (ohhh, she also the one who told me about AT " hi Nimbus" ). The fae and the years together combined to somehow put my SO at ease... and my love and involvement were renewed. I now use them for meditation or reflection, sometimes by purposefully choosing a card but more often by shuffling and asking for a card that applies to me or that I would connect with and it would provide insight and deep thought. I've also used them as a guide to help me keep myself in check, asking what traits to bring forward and which traits to leave behind ( example: at an upcoming work meeting that was sure to become heated).

My cards ground me and set the stage for inner reflection the way a solitary hike in nature would.

Deep peace to you.

A favorite prayer:

the dominion of dreams : under a dark star - fiona macleod - 1895

Short version
Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.

Long Version:
Deep peace I breathe into you, O weariness, here:
O ache, here!
Deep peace, a soft white dove to You;
Deep peace, a quiet rain to you;
Deep peace, an ebbing wave to you!
Deep peace, red wind of the east from you;
Deep peace, grey wind of the west to You;
Deep peace, dark wind of the north from you;
Deep peace, blue wind of the south to you!
Deep peace, pure red of the flame to you;
Deep peace, pure white of the moon to you;
Deep peace, pure green of the grass to you;
Deep peace, pure brown of the earth to you;
Deep peace, pure grey of the dew to you,
Deep peace, pure blue of the sky to you!
Deep peace of the running wave to you,
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the sleeping stones to you!
Deep peace of the Yellow Shepherd to you,
Deep peace of the Wandering Shepherdess to you,
Deep peace of the Flock of Stars to you,
Deep peace from the Son of Peace to you,
Deep peace from the heart of Mary to you,
And from Briget of the Mantle
Deep peace, deep peace!
And with the kindness too of the Haughty Father
Peace!
In the name of the Three who are One,
Peace!
And by the will of the King of the Elements,
Peace! Peace!

Mona Lisa Tarot

I finally had the time and mental and spiritual energy to greet my new Mona Lisa Tarot deck. My first time with a deck, I usually say a basic "hello" and pull a card or two to see what comes from it, it's been a good indicator to show me from the get-go if I can connect with a deck as a reading deck or if it's only a deck to admire. I was pleasantly surprised with the cards that I pulled and indeed it's shown strength as a reading deck for me. Instantly I see this will be a deck that I will need to use intuitively and toss out the typical RWS meanings. While the RWS meanings are there in abstract ways, the images on these cards are far from being typical.




I pulled the 3 of Swords, and very plainly, the image is a woman writing with a baby in the background, replace this with my computer and it's unmistakably how I've spent my last 7 weeks. The other card was the Knight of Pentacles and again, the sense of wanting to flee the city and responsibility is too strong to ignore. Alexiss has been what they call a colicky baby and it's been a difficult time, sometimes making me want to run away from home. (but I love her dearly and understand she's just as irritated by all of this too) The LWB keywords are fate/mission and disagreement/misunderstanding, true but the words are not as strong as the impact of the images. I don't feel a need to peer further and meditate on these cards as they only show me in a snapshot of the current day, and show it very well! I won't delve into them further, but what they have done is made me want to study this deck further and compare, but this deck has shown it's value for reading intuitively rather than relying on the cold hard RWS meaning, perhaps giving more depth and clearer pictures into my future readings.

I then asked what I could do to make Alexiss happy or comforted and once again, the cards were plain and in-my-face.

I pulled the 7 of Wands and the Queen of Swords. The 7 of wands shows Mona Lisa protecting a child, the orange/red background is so prominent, I can only see it as protecting Alexiss with fiery and all my might. Plain and simple, she needs me to protect and care for her best I can. Mona Lisa herself is a mystery and her "face a study in contradiction" (from the intro in the LWB, in the Queen of Swords I've taken her representation as someone whom I don't know well and may very well have her own agenda or not portray herself for who she truly is. This card tells me not to listen to all those that preach about care of babies, they have their own agenda and are speaking in general terms instead of on a personal level, and those who've had babies know that each one is different and unique.

What I found interesting was we both got a card from Swords, this suit relates to Air and is about communication, Alexiss is verbal (cries, coos, babble) but cannot tell me outright what she needs, it's become a practice of picking up her other non verbal ways to communicate to tell me what she needs. Funny how little Miss Alexiss is running the show these days, she gets the Queen and I get the 3, I guess that tells the tale how she's pulling the strings right now and I'm following. lol. The Knight of Pentacles can be interpretted as upcoming travel by foot... mmmm... all those nights with her on my shoulder pacing to calm her.

I'm amazed at the clarity of this deck enough to put more time into more in depth study, but that will come later.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
Douglas Adams

You
are not here to fix anything, because nothing is broken, but everything
is continually changing and expanding. Release your struggle, and seek
joy and fun, and in doing so, you will align with the fantastic
expanding rhythm of this Universe.
...
- Abraham-Hicks

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.

Love

Times when it's hardest to love someone is when they need your love the most.

be

If you want to be happy, be.
~ Leo Tolstoy


The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
C. P. Snow (1905 - 1980)

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892)

A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.
Anatole France (1844 - 1924)

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Samhain Blessings

A Prayer to the Ancestors
from about.com

This is the night when the gateway between
our world and the spirit world is thinnest.
Tonight is a night to call out those who came before.
Tonight I honor my ancestors.
Spirits of my fathers and mothers, I call to you,
and welcome you to join me for this night.
You watch over me always,
protecting and guiding me,
and tonight I thank you.
Your blood runs in my veins,
your spirit is in my heart,
your memories are in my soul.

[If you wish, you may want to recite your genealogy here. This can include both your blood family, and your spiritual one.]

With the gift of remembrance.
I remember all of you.
You are dead but never forgotten,
and you live on within me,
and within those who are yet to come.

____________________________________________

Kids Prayer for Samhain
from about.com

Samhain is here, cold is the earth,
as we celebrate the cycle of death and rebirth.
Tonight we speak to those through the veil,
the lines between worlds are thin and frail.

Ghosts and spirits in the night,
magical beings rising in flight,
owls hooting up in a moonlit tree,
I don't fear you and you don't fear me.

As the sun goes down, far to the west,
my ancestors watch over me as I rest.
They keep me safe and without fear,
on the night of Samhain, the Witch's New Year.

_________________________________________________
May the ancestors deliver blessings on you and yours...
May the new year bear great fruits for you...
May your granted wishes be as many as the seeds in a pomegranate...
May the slide into darkness bring you light...
May the memories of what has been keep you strong for what is to be...
May this Samhain cleanse your heart, your soul, and your mind!
--- traditional Samhain blessing from The Zen of Motherhood

_________________________________________________

I found some prayers online that were written by Galen Gillotte in the Book of Hours: Prayers for the Goddess and the Book of Hours: Prayers for the God and found here. Not one stuck out and touched me as deeply as some, but it`s got an affirmation and thing to think about, which I think is a nice touch.

duirwaigh - knock at the door

http://www.duirwaigh.com/duirwaigh-films.html

Duirwaigh [door-way]
1. The door on the human heart which, when opened causes on to remember one's magical origins
2. the entryway to impossible things happening every day
3. the portal contained within the human psyche that transports dreams into reality

Tarot Study Aid

My tarot decks and interest has finally returned! Thanks to a woman at work who loves to ask me to bring in my deck every so often and pull cards for her. Her energy and response has reminded me why I find the tarot so fascinating and a great resource for guidance.

I came across a post on the Aeclectic Tarot forum and thought it would be super useful, or at least give some "food for thought" during tarot study. The page shared was mostly about symbols on the RWS cards; like the wolf and ship.. and even snails!

She also has pages for color..etc. that I haven't peeked in at yet.

Online symbol dictionary at Tarotteachings.com

Spirit of the Plants by Lisa Thiel from the Journey to the Goddess CD

Lyrics:

The spirit of the plants
Has come to me
In the form of a beautiful
Dancing green woman
(Repeat)

Her eyes filled me
With peace
Her dance filled me
With peace
(Repeat)

The spirit of the plants
Has come to me
In the form of a beautiful
Dancing green woman
(Repeat)

Her eyes filled me
With peace
Her dance filled me
With peace
(Repeat)

The spirit of the plants
Has come to me
And has blessed me
With great peace
(Repeat)

Her eyes filled me
With peace
Her dance filled me
With peace
(Repeat)

The spirit of the plants
Has come to me
In the form of a beautiful
Dancing green woman

The Earth is Our Mother

Lyrics:

The Earth Is Our Mother
The Earth is our mother, we must take care of her
The Earth is our mother, we must take care of her.

Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan,
Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan.
Her sacred ground we walk upon, with every step we take
Her sacred ground we walk upon, with every step we take.

Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan,
Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan.

The Sky is our father, we must take care of him
The Sky is our father, we must take care of him

Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan,
Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan.

The Rivers are our sisters, we must take care of them
The Rivers are our sisters, we must take care of them.

Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan,
Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan.

The Trees are our brothers, we must take care of them
The Trees are our brothers, we must take care of them.

Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan,
Hey yana, ho yana, hey yan yan.

Gypsy - Wiccan Lullaby

Beautiful, a must learn...



Lyrics:

Heaven's gift to me just the way you are,
A new aged child from a distant star.
It feels so good just to be
So close to your love. You are heaven's gift to me.

You are so sweet and pure just the way you are.
Mama's precious jewel. Daddy's rising star.
There's so much in life for you to see.
And so much to be. You are Heaven's gift to me.

La la la la la la, la la la la la,
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la,
La la la la la, la la la la,
La la la la la, la la la la la la la

Heaven's gift to me just the way you are,
A new aged child always in my heart.
There's so much in life for you to be,
And so much to see. You are heaven's gift to me.

La la la la la la, la la la la la,
La la la la la, la la la la la,
La la la la la la, la la la la la,
La la la la la, la la la la la la la.

La la la la la la, la la la la la,
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la,
There's so much in life for you to see,
And so much to be. You are heaven's gift to me

Morning meditation

Okay, I'm trying to embed a you tube meditation video... let's see how this goes. Special thanks to a sister I've not yet met, Cari-Lee.

May today there be peace within

Far be it from me to read chain mail, but this quotation is floating around in cyber space, and I like it enough to capture it. It one of the one's that say to foward to blah blah blah.. that isn't going to happy, but I'd like to give it honor by capturing it.... wonder who wrote it, it really is a great affirmation.

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Tarot Ritual for Change

I'm nearing the final phase of my pregnancy and the need for sleep is overpowering. Only 5 more weeks of work and trying hard to live in the moment. The future holds love, uncertainty and major ignorance or insight into what that future may hold. The past holds a foundation of contentment, acceptance and being, a theme and lifestyle I want to continue.... And then there's the aches, pains and concentration of moving around today that give me no choice but to be aware of the space I contain at that exact moment in time.

I have slacked off spiritually, but am wondering if that's my way to bring my baby into the world unbiased, allowing them to learn and choose the path that works for them. I do give thanks and find awe and beauty everyday, I have not totally become cut off from the divine. I look forward to a year off from work filled with discovery and growth... me and the new addition.

I think I'm falling for the Mona Lisa Tarot. After working with my Merry Day I found I did not feel as compelled to collect or read with other decks. The Merry day pulls me in and pops out at me. However, I'm feeling pulled to the Mona Lisa after reading there are consistencies and non linear stories within the images. Call it impulse, but I think I just may purchase it this weekend! While zooming around the internet I found this interesting tarot meditation and thought I'd document/share it.

Below is a portion of the article from Llewellyn.. linkage
____________________________________________

A Tarot Ritual for Change
To begin, set up your altar with a black cloth. Place an ear of corn on the left side, a beeswax taper candle in the center, and a chalice of wine or grape juice on the right side. If you like, cast a Circle. From your favorite tarot deck, remove these cards: the Hanged Man, the Empress, the World, the Three of Cups, and the Two of Pentacles. Settle yourself in front of your altar and light the candle. Take three breaths, slowly exhale, and place the Empress face up in the center of the altar. Focus on the energy of the protective Earth Mother. See a sphere of brilliant green-earth energy surrounding you and comforting you.

Continue meditating as you cover the Empress with the Three of Cups. Visualize all that is good and abundant in your life and give thanks. Think of what you have harvested in this year, what projects you have completed, and what rewards you have gathered. Enjoy the feeling and be proud of your achievements. Then, place the Two of Pentacles atop the Three of Cups. Imagine the cycle changing, and accept that life is ever-moving and that there is always more to do. Think about the things you've accumulated—ideas, concepts, beliefs, and material goods—that might get in your way as you shift into a new cycle.

At this point, place the Hanged Man over the Two of Pentacles. Envision yourself making the sacrifices necessary to open the doorway for change. Imagine what you need to remove from your life—faltering friendships and relationships, old goals that are no longer applicable. See yourself now, making changes and creating a space for new experiences and people to enter your life. Know that if you have the courage to make room, positive change will come.

Lastly, place the World atop the Hanged Man. Feel the Wheel turning, and feel the Universe responding to your call. Know that serendipity will fill your life as you let go of outworn and outdated concepts and ideas. By surfing the crest of the Universe, you flow with the current of change rather than attempt to ride against it. Now pick up the chalice of wine or juice and toast yourself, this holiday, and the spirit of change. For only by embracing the void can we hope to attract new experience.

Ostara - A Time to Recreate Yourself

I like the quiet reflective act in this article and love that it brings us back to ourselves without being "cutsey" Unfortunately, being pregnant has dulled my mind and spirit as the energy is used to help the baby grow, but I'm feeling stirrings of summer and quiet moments of seeing the magic of our world again. This article is copied from the Llewellyn site, I'm not sure how I feel about this site yet, it's a great resource and I do love some of their articles, but I tend to shy away from the common.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This article was written by Edain McCoy

After writing one book covering all eight of the sabbats (Sabbats), and another one about the Ostara sabbat (Ostara), I wanted a “fresh” angle for Ostara 2008. Most Pagans become familiar very early in their studies with the primary icons and concepts of our solar celebrations. Most of us know Ostara is the celebration of the spring equinox, a day of balance between dark and light. I don’t think many of us can tolerate reading one more dry description about the symbolism of the egg in springtime, but that word “fresh” kept going through my mind, eventually bringing me back to “fresh eggs.” (I won’t do that to you, I promise!)

I also wanted to avoid the cliché in the word “renewal.” I don’t care how many Persephones, Kores, or Inannas arise from the underworld to “renew” the earth at Ostara. The word “renewal” has been done and over done until it has little mystery left for us, and the word also implies repetitive actions rather than growth with permanent change.

Yet, Ostara is a time of balance, a calming energy we need in our overworked, overstressed lives. We understand these energies on the macrocosmic level, but Ostara energy can do just as much for us here on the microcosmic level where we live. We can take the renewal imagery, call it recreation instead of renewal, and apply it to ourselves with excellent results.

Using the energy of Ostara we can begin to recreate or reinvent ourselves into the people we want to be. Whether the desired change is spiritual, emotional, or physical, Ostara is here to help grow our wishes. Think of this sabbat as a second New Year for Pagans. In Pagan Rome, March 25th was the New Year, the date on which the equinox occurred at that time.

A few days before Ostara, take time for some serious introspection. Decide what you like most about yourself and embrace it. Be honest about what you don’t like about yourself and ask yourself whether you really want to change each negative aspect. Some people who admit their flaws find they have no desire to change them. You are allowed to be selective. You can change one thing about yourself or several things. It all depends on you and your lifestyle. Only you know how much time you can put into recreating yourself.

As Ostara approaches, begin to visualize your life in your new self. Envision your looks, poise, interaction with others, or whatever situations your recreation will affect. If it’s your job situation that needs changing, it’s always best to begin with the changes you have under your control. If it’s a romance, make sure you’re recreating yourself for yourself and not to please someone else. Being what you were not meant to be or want to be will only backfire on you. If it’s a physical issue, such as an illness or a problem related to appearance, be sure to work with a doctor, dermatologist, or cosmetologist who knows how to add some modern science to your magick.

Also, you must absolutely, without hesitation, embrace yourself as more than raw material. Look into a mirror and see the face of the person you want to be. Take note of all the things you do like about yourself and tell yourself positive things. You may be a good parent, an outstanding student, a dedicated employee. You may have an artistic gift you want to celebrate, or have a physical feature of which you are proud. Everyone has something they like about themselves. Start your recreation by focusing on your best aspects.

Keep up with the positive thoughts and words. No change will come to anyone who is caught up in a pattern of negative self-talk. Listen to yourself. Really listen! You will be surprised at how many times a day you say something deprecating about yourself. Some people do it to get a leg up on the people around them whom they perceive as thinking your negative self-talk is correct. Blow them off. No one knows the real you except you.

Avoid focusing on the negative. Focus instead that the thing you want to banish will be taken from you, and, in its place, you will draw in the characteristics, traits, and other necessities for success in your Ostara recreation-of-self ritual. Write down what you want to be. Tell no one about your plans and—whatever you do—don’t let anyone else see your list. Even non-magickal people can be threatened by change and their counter energy can get in the way. You also risk exposing attributes others might think you cannot have, and they will tell you so, damaging your efforts. Not all people see positive and negative as you do. You may need more aggressiveness to deal with people at work, but aggression is a trait many find intimidating, especially if they don’t know how you plan to use this trait.

The next step is to mentally create a map to take you from the current you to the ideal you. Magick is a potent tool, but it cannot work without you backing it up with actions. For example, if you want to lose thirty pounds, it won’t happen if you do magick by night and spend the day sitting on your backside and eating anything you want. As Ostara approaches you must keep your positive visualizations going in your head. If a negative thought pops in, dismiss it and return to good thoughts. Only by getting back in balance can you pass through to change.

On the day of Ostara, when the day and night are equal—twelve hours each—begin the day with a cleansing shower or bath. Allow all negative thoughts, energies, and other garbage to be washed away, leaving only you in your purest form. Mentally connect with the energy of balance inherent in Ostara. Breathe it into your body as you inhale, and allow it settle within you as you exhale. If you can get outdoors and do this in the clean spring air, it will be all the more invigorating. You can also hold out your hands to the energies of dark and light. Visualize them clutched in your fists, and draw them into your center. Keep in mind that after this night you will have more light than dark, a perfect three months ahead to wax bright with the warming sun.

As the sun sets on the day of Ostara, go in tranquility to a place where you can have some privacy. You will need two black candles and two white candles, something to hold the candles, and a mirror of any size. The bathroom is often the best place in the house to ensure that privacy, and your mirror is part of the package. If you don’t have white candles, you may choose two of another color you feel best represents your recreation goal. Examples are: blue for tranquility and rest; violet for spirituality and prayer; blue-violet for healing; green for prosperity, beauty, balance, and calming; red for courage, stamina, and passion; orange for attraction and stimulation; and yellow for mental prowess, concentration, and getting a job done.

Stand or sit where you can see yourself centered in the mirror. Once you can see the real you, place the black candles on either side of you. They do not have to reflect in the mirror if you are using a small one. In fact, it is preferable that they don’t reflect. You want to be mesmerized by your reflection, not by dancing candlelight.

Light the black candles and say:

On the night of balance of dark and light,
I recreate myself to be who I like;
All negativity that follows my back,
Be taken now into the candles black.

Sit and gaze at your reflection for another ten minutes if you can. Don’t dwell on the negative, but rather on the negative being absorbed and burned away with the black candles. Contrary to popular folklore, there is nothing negative or evil about black. Black is no more than a color that does not reflect any light in the visible spectrum. Black truly is a black hole, not dissimilar from those in space. When light is pulled in it does not come out.

Allow any trait, habits, or other flaws to be drawn into the candles. At this point you will begin to see changes in your reflection. They are very subtle, but you can see them as you begin to introduce positive recreation of yourself.

When you feel the time is right, or when the candles have burned themselves out, take them away to be thrown out or buried later. Place the two white candles in their place on each side of you. Again, it does not matter whether the candles are reflected in the mirror, but it is better if they are not.

The color white is has many associations with purity and spirituality. In truth, the color we call white is not a color, but the reflection of the entire visible spectrum. That’s a lot of energy with which to work.

As the white candles burn, visualize them bringing in the desired traits you need for your positive recreation. As you light the white candles, say:

White reflects all on this balanced night,
The dark shall recede and the light take flight;
The positive qualities I call into me,
I am recreation! So mote it be!

Stay with your reflection for as long as you are able, or until the candles burn out, or until you have seen the vision of the you you wish to be. Inhale deep of the full spectrum of all things positive as you see them.

Pocket your list so you can recharge this spell at will, with the paper being your talisman and reminder of your goals. As you douse the white candles say:

Ostara the barer of balance and light,
Bless my work on this, your sacred night;
As your sun continues to rise and grow,
Into this change with it, I go.

By earth, water, air, and fire,
Who bring me what I desire;
By the light of Ostara in me,
As I will, so mote it be!

SO, YOU WANNA BE A WITCH, EH????

SO, YOU WANNA BE A WITCH, EH????
PAniteowl
Jacci Sutton

------------------

Well, sit right here, by my side,
and I'll tell you the secrets of the tide ...
And just get comfy, honey child,
While I speak of nature, free and wild.
But, you don't have a cloak, or pointed hat??
Bah!! and Piffle!! ..
What's with that?
The Witch is worn within the soul,
not donned for occasions, or kept in a bowl.

When you think of witches, you tremble at magic?
Oh, silly girl, that is indeed tragic!
Well, take a deep breath, and hold tight to my hand,
and together we'll dream to the edge of the land.
Where forest and sky kiss the edge of the waters,
where spirits as we, claim a kinship with daughters
of elements born before words are remembered, and feelings,
and thoughts are no longer hindered.

Tis' the every day things, that witches are 'ware of,
The Sun and the Moon, and the wee tiny cherub,
who tugs at our heart strings and drives us to madness,
yet gives us such joy, and fills us with gladness.
A soft gentle rain, nudging buds to full flower.
Hurricane! Twister! .. Such terrible power!
Candles, and hearth fire, warming and scented.
Forests ablaze! .. Volcanic stacks vented!
A mantle of snow, both preserves and gives pleasure.
Avalanche! Iceberg!! ..
So full of treasure.

The Warmth of the Sun, bringing Life we so cherish.
Bleak desert landscape.
Burnt tundra... we perish.
Now open your eyes, and look closely at me.

You came here so fearful, now what do you see?
A kindly old woman? An evil old hag?
A cloak of maturity? A dirty old rag?
Both sides of the coin.
Light and dark we encompass
Good and evil abide, and still walk among us.

So be very sure, that a Witch you will be ...
for we own it ALL ...
you and me.... you and me.
Blessed Be ...

Living by faith is not a feeling we have; it is a conscious decision we must make. ~Joyce Meyer

I've been quiet and not doing much to balance my day to day "now" life besides bringing a new life into the world, which honestly, means much more balance in the future. In the meantime I'm finding myself napping lots. For the first trimester my energy went into keeping the little bean growing and healthy, giving my all in thought and spirit. I am coming up to the second trimester and feeling my heart again reaching out instead of within.